Anna (hookahkitty) wrote,
Anna
hookahkitty

awkward

Its been a while since I have posted in here, almost 6 months I think, but I think for the sake of those around me to write out my feelings as opposed to alienating those around me through my continous over-azalzing of situtations. Anyways.... ever wondered what its like to be living in the aftermath of an awkward situation.... welcome to my life, or at least my week. For those of you who do not know, I consider myself to be extremely awkward, espically around the opposite sex, and try my best to avoid situations which put me this position at all costs but sometimes fate wants to toy with me and I have to just play along. So here's the deal.... there is this boy (yea Anna is having boy issues again big deal) who after coming home with me one night and falling out of my life last semester (despite my intese efforts) winds up in all of my classes this semester. After having him flake on me several times last semester and spending the summer in Alaska, I thought I had pretty much wiped my hands of feelings for him.... I was wrong. After spending several days hanging out together and confusing myself even more I discovered that feelings were still there and there might be something on the other end as well. So what do I do.... I say something. Trying to avoid an awkward situation I try to lighten the mood by saying "lets make out again" not meaning it in full, but kinda a light hearted way of asking is there anything here or should I move on to greener pastures. And whats his responce........ "I want to get to know you better" WTF? The whole purpose of the conversation was to clear up confusion and now I am left even more confused. To top things off this certian someone forgets to call me tonight after seeming cool the morning after "the conversation". GRRRRRRR I am so confused. On one hand the idealist in me wants to believe what he said, that he was not giving me a line and that he truely likes me and wants to respect me as he said he did, on the other hand a part of me feels like I am getting played again and someone is trying to let me down easy. grrr. Why can't everything be simple?
oh well i am whining
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