Anna (hookahkitty) wrote,
Anna
hookahkitty

Anexity about leaving and What not

The recent news about the terror plot and the arrival of a letter containing the names and the addresses of the students with whom I will be spending the next three months with, have made me recongize some of the underlying anexities that I about this trip.

Yesterday morning, I was awaken by my mother with the news that there was a foiled terror plot to blow up 6-10 jets over the alantic ocean, all of which were departing from London Heathrow Airport. As many of you do not know, my flight plan includes catching a connecting flight to Narobi from this airport, so I was extremely nervous and spent the vast majority of yesterday morning in front of the tv watching CNN. The new carry-on baggage rules illicted quite a responce from me, because ever since my stool was returned to me in pieces, and many of the items which were covered with fragile stickers were returned to me with some degree of damage, I do not trust valuable items to baggage claim, espically on international flights. Now, under these new rules (given that they do not change in the next 28 days or so) I will be required to check close to $3000 worth of electronic equipment, including a lap top, 7.2 megapixel digital zoom camera, a 30G ipod, a pair of binoculars, and an electric converson kit. To top it off, I will not be able to take an additional change of clothes and a bag of toiletries be that my bags get lost. Losing bags ranks up with missing a flight on the list on anexity attack triggers for me.

In addition to this, I am feeling rather inadquate in regards to my academic credentials for this trip. All but one student on this trip is a biology and/or environmental major and many hail from some of the best schools for environmental programs in the country, or flat out ivy league schools. I have done ok in my undergraduate courses, but since the majority of my friends are not biology or environmental majors nor have a strong intrest in these areas (not that this is,by any means, an insult, to them)these topics do not emerge as everyday topics of discussion and I feel that the concepts that I learn in class oftentimes go in one ear and out the other. My experience in finding an internship this summer (which did not pan out) and researching admission standards for graduate schools also helps to reinfornce this inadquacy that I am feeling. To top it off, many of the students with whom I will be traveling, are active in biological internships and experiences this summer. It is my fear that I will fail all the tests and waste a large sum of my parents money, and a large amount of my time while making myself look like a fool to all these other students.
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